Something you will never know about exchange student #1
17 August 2017
I stopped counting the day of me living in Switzerland because until now, no doubt, half of my exchange year had passed.
I understand most part of German at home and in the school. I did not speak English to my host parents since a month. If you think that my life will be more wonderful from now on, then you're wrong.
Currently, the summer holiday ended and new school year has begun. I am in the third year of swiss high school. In almost a week, I question myself more than 20 times, why am I here. The stress level is no jokes. Why should I feel stressed? You may ask. I am not even a Swiss student. I am only an exchange student who will be back to her home country in 5 months. I could have just chill down and visit places in Switzerland.
But I choose not to do so. I can't just let the time pass. I can't use my parents' money and do nothing here. I can't skip school. I have to be good. I have to let my parents be proud of me. I have to be responsible. All these come into my mind automatically. To be good, I attend most of the lessons in school. I take some lessons even if I don't have to and just to give it a try.
The lessons are more challenging than the time when I was still fresh. I think I understand the lessons but actually I do not. I am tired of trying to understand even if I know how to speak German now. I miss the companion of my oldies who are no longer in Switzerland. I miss how they would tell me to stay strong. I feel mentally exhausted. I have a close friend in class which I could have talk to but I do not do so. I want myself to be abled to express my feelings in German. That is my ultimate goal.
Somehow, my life is at a phase which is similar to the beginning of this exchange. The struggle of learning the language, the will of understand everything and the impatience of growing up. I feel lonely sometimes even if I am surrounded by people. I feel empty. I do not feel alived.
I hope someone will be there to cheer me up but that is not the way of growing. I believe I will be happy again soon. I always believe that. What can I do? Scroll through Instagram, pick a quote of day, write down on a paper and paste on the wall. I almost made a new wallpaper in the last 5 months. Eat more Swiss chocolate seems to be a better option. I make myself busy and I focus myself on school. There goes my endless cycle.
I stopped counting the day of me living in Switzerland because until now, no doubt, half of my exchange year had passed.
I understand most part of German at home and in the school. I did not speak English to my host parents since a month. If you think that my life will be more wonderful from now on, then you're wrong.
Currently, the summer holiday ended and new school year has begun. I am in the third year of swiss high school. In almost a week, I question myself more than 20 times, why am I here. The stress level is no jokes. Why should I feel stressed? You may ask. I am not even a Swiss student. I am only an exchange student who will be back to her home country in 5 months. I could have just chill down and visit places in Switzerland.
But I choose not to do so. I can't just let the time pass. I can't use my parents' money and do nothing here. I can't skip school. I have to be good. I have to let my parents be proud of me. I have to be responsible. All these come into my mind automatically. To be good, I attend most of the lessons in school. I take some lessons even if I don't have to and just to give it a try.
The lessons are more challenging than the time when I was still fresh. I think I understand the lessons but actually I do not. I am tired of trying to understand even if I know how to speak German now. I miss the companion of my oldies who are no longer in Switzerland. I miss how they would tell me to stay strong. I feel mentally exhausted. I have a close friend in class which I could have talk to but I do not do so. I want myself to be abled to express my feelings in German. That is my ultimate goal.
Somehow, my life is at a phase which is similar to the beginning of this exchange. The struggle of learning the language, the will of understand everything and the impatience of growing up. I feel lonely sometimes even if I am surrounded by people. I feel empty. I do not feel alived.
I hope someone will be there to cheer me up but that is not the way of growing. I believe I will be happy again soon. I always believe that. What can I do? Scroll through Instagram, pick a quote of day, write down on a paper and paste on the wall. I almost made a new wallpaper in the last 5 months. Eat more Swiss chocolate seems to be a better option. I make myself busy and I focus myself on school. There goes my endless cycle.
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